CHINA TORI

I
Agbérà is gone! They said it was her time but I know better. I know she took her own life because she couldn’t bear it anymore.

I know she was confused and afraid and tired; she was already losing a grip on her sanity.

She got tired of the rituals and tired of hearing the hurtful words that were flying around; that she was going to die on the day of great happiness.

She got tired of seeing the disappointment in the eyes of her parents who now strongly believe that she hated them for no just cause. They once said to her, “if you hate the earth so much, why do you keep coming?”

Agbérà got tired of the insidious fear lodged in her heart like a clog in a wheel and got tired of the resentment she was beginning to feel for herself.

II.

When did it all begin? Her problems began when they found a scar on her left shoulder. They said they had given it to her the last time she visited.

They had gone on to dig out the amulet they believed was hers to shuttle with from a spot they say she pointed at in her sleep. Then they made her sleep under ‘a tree’ for days, hoping that her other family will take her back.

After that, she was taken to a river for cleansing. There, she was flogged and bathed, and there, they left food items. I know because she told me. She tells me everything.

In the end, they pleaded with her to stay as they offered her all the comfort they could afford. They said they could make her forget her promise if they gave her the best of this world.

Agbérà could not make sense of any of it, so she took her own life. It was her only brother’s wedding day.