CHINA TORI

Pipo no go kpai say dem dey hustle for dis Lagos! And by people, I mean me. The other day, I had to deal with some “really big” people. I say “big” because if you call dem fat now, they will say you are a body-shamer. Ever dealing with inferiority complex, fat people always think slim people exist to attack them because of their size. Dear Father!

Starting with the journey to CMS, the “really big” lady in black that I got in next to would not move a centimeter for me. For a while, I struggled to fit in and she didn’t flinch. She actually turned to look at me and size me up, but that was all. Na so aunty strong body give me o – all in the bid to stop me from getting comfortable when the bus tilted.

Man, I was uncomfortable! E con be like say na ontop iron I sidon. I was so uncomfortable that I had to beg for small shake-bodi. “Ah, abeg guys, mé una move small”. Aunty turned, eyed me and didn’t say a word. Shouldn’t I be pissed? Who dey help anybody here? No be the same money all of us pay? Are we not passengers together? Ah! Deep sigh. I manage. Sé na Lagos we dey.

I got to CMS and was lucky to meet a loading BRT. Queue moved fast and it got to me; na me get the last seat before standing. Lucky me abi? The heavens be praised. Na so I move! But when I got there, one big man was already occupying. “God, why me?” I cried out. “Father Lord, why today?”, I screamed in my head. It was bad enough say traffic dey road. What was worse be say I no sleep complete the night before, and Baba God know say na for inside bus we dey usually compliment. So why me?

When I got to the man, he managed to turn his head to look at me and then at the space left. He wiggled – because you no go fit call wetin him do shifting – and went back to the song playing in his head via his earpiece. Can I say he did not move? At least this one tried.

I got in and tried to settle but before I could, the bus started moving. Mogbe! One small break and I was sent flying across. Na so all of us scream, “hey!”. Thank God say I no too wound!
The driver stopped and guys helped me back to my seat. Oga Biggie wiggled again and I got in.

Now armed with more sense, na so I support myself with my hand on the side. I held on to the side of the seat like my life depended on it. No gainsaying, it actually did. Deep sigh. As we moved, I tried to rest my back but his shoulder won’t let that happen. So I turned my thoughts inward and sent all the energy I could muster to my neck. I sent them there for one reason, and that was to keep my head erect as I forced myself to sleep. A babe cannot coman kee herself; the road to Jakande far small.