CHINA TORI

I have never been this mad my entire life; best believe that. What nonsense! This guy selling yoghurt just put his hand through the bus window and squeezed my right shoulder. He was, no doubts, aiming for my breast. He only missed because the bus moved. So they be snatching women’s breasts now in traffic? Huh? Wetin pesin no go see for this Lagos?!

Like James Bond, I switched on him. I threw my head out the window and scanned the hold up for him. The dumb head turned and smiled at me. He even waved and asked if I wanted to buy yoghurt. Werey! This is the reason some people will never amount to anything. I have never stopped trying to imagine what was going through his mind and what kind of pleasure he was gunning to get.

If you find yourself in a particular state in life, you don’t go thinking everybody else have things going better for them and then go out of your way to torture them. You don’t grow by playing victim or thrashing your hustle. Jeez!

When I looked at him and spat, “are you mad?” I knew, in my heart of hearts, that his generations unborn will feel the venom I threw at this ancestor of theirs. I mean, it is only a man with grave perversion that will act that way! Who knows how many women he has molested on this road? You need to see how I now look at these boys who sell stuff in hold-ups. Apart from stealing from people, so now they also snatch women’s breasts?!

Bam! Abeg mé una ask me wetin I do, because even I don’t understand it. Just as I was penning down my anger and pain on a Monday afternoon in one of Lagos usual hold-ups, I look out the window and I see a really deformed boy in the scorching sun. You know how you think you have it really bad and then you meet people who are having it worse? Yeah, this is it. His right cheek was swollen. It was so big that it covered half of his face. Then he looked like he was cut in half, his stomach cut out and then stitched after. He had something that looked a chest but there was no stomach.

Let’s say his deformity was what got me, I guess I will still have my heart in my chest. But it wasn’t. The breast-snatching scenario had just passed and I had just taken out my phone to start writing when I raised my head to this guy by my window.

Bam! My heart flew!! No jokes, I know what cardiac arrest is now. I tell you it is not something you plan for. Something just appears or happens and you are so shocked that you lose control of entire body. It would feel like a massive club hit you somewhere between your upper back and your head and your heart just stops working. Jeez.

The man beside me in the bus must have seen me react to this two people and he must have felt the tremor that coursed through my body. In a twinkle of an eye, his arm flew to my shoulder. God, I should have known he was trying to help; I mean, trying to calm me down. His touch only aggravated my condition. I let out a loud scream and I nearly caused an accident. Sorry, I caused an accident. We were already close to Bonny Camp. Heavens!

The driver screeched to a stop and the car behind us ran into us. Gboa! Everywhere went silent for about ten seconds. Then as if on cue, slowly passengers started turning to look at me. I can’t tell what vibe I felt when they did because it was a mixture of fear, hatred, anger, curiosity, impatience, you name it. They were all directed at me until they spotted the man’s arm on my shoulder.

For one moment, please forget that I exist and focus on the man beside me. If you can, say a prayer for him. I say so because situations like this can change a man’s life forever. It has the capacity to make someone who is not strong hurt himself, choose isolation or even consider suicide. And if he is super strong and none of that happens, the good in his heart can be erased forever. Pray, who knows how much good was left. Just imagine it was only a dot left. These people? They just wiped the slate clean.

That instant I became a victim of (public) molestation and he became world’s most-hated pervert, molester and rapist. Worst part? His grip on my shoulder was very strong. It actually looked like he was wrestling with me.

The abuses and insults came. Then the do-you-know-who-i-am started behind us. The man was devastated. While passengers were heaping curses on him, the driver was threatening him. The driver insisted that he come down and look at the damage his “conji” had caused him. He also insisted that the man would bear the cost of repairs for both vehicles.

I watched as everything deteriorated in seconds. I tried so hard to remember how it began but I couldn’t. I saw the man’s shoulder fall and saw how words failed him. He looked at me for help and I shook my head. I wasn’t sure what the reaction of the public would be if I stood up for him, so I shook my head. What? Give these guys a chance to brand me sick? That I’m one of those “oppressed who turned round to love their oppressor”? I shook my head and he sighed.

But then something happened. When the passengers started alighting from the bus, there was a rush to go and see the damage on the other man’s car. So, I saw an opening and I asked him to take it. Without saying a word, I nudged him and pointed. His eyes widened, narrowed and then looked up. No lies here, I saw the lightbulb come on on his head. He quickly scanned area and took his chance. But before he leapt, I saw something that brought me great relief; he knew the area.

Deep sigh. Wait, what? How we all reacted to his escape? Let’s make that a story for another day. I’m too exhausted to write more. Lagos!

Image: Paradise Planet Earth