CHINA TORI

Yes, I said it and if there’s a need to quote anybody, say you heard it from me first.

I’m not one to meddle in people’s business, especially when they choose to put it on TV, but I get pissed when “supporters” intentionally close their eyes to obvious truths because of petty sentiments. All these people who live for “fanning”, creating and running fanpages and coming up with funny names for supporters, tueh!

Have you seen the interviews? I have and I can’t stop laughing. Tega’s husband’s interviews are the worst or should I say, the most revealing? The nigga is a very bad actor. He couldn’t keep up, which is why una suppose dey give una Nollywood actors kudos. The work no easy. There was nothing there; no pain, no anger, nothing. On top woman wey you marry? Wey you claim say you love? Another man chook your woman on national television and you dey there dey smile, dey stutter. Bad acting.

Aunty Tega, on the other hand, no even try. Like she did not see a better lie to fall back on, na the cliche, “I was acting out a script” she choose? Buhari no do pass this one.

See baby, I know. It is just that you no specify, so others no know say the script na the one wey you and your husband sidon write tey tey. I mean, you guys did not even make any effort to hide your hunger for fame!

For those of you who think say na only Tega go that house, think again. That lady went with her husband. And he was on that bed cheering her on. Why? Because of social media fame, of course.

See, for the housemates of the last three or four seasons of BBNaija, the only strategy has been to excite Nigerians by having sex, masturbate or get some steamy-shower-screen-time. If you can go in with a plastic body or wear skims throughout too, you go survive. Just have the courage to do anything recklessly sexual (or sexually reckless) and you would definitely secure a spot for yourself.

So when Sir Boma sat and came up with the ‘stellar’ idea of sleeping with anything and anyone to win una hearts, he was just thinking like everyone else. You know how you think you are a genius for coming up with an idea, only to find out that there are ten million other people with the same idea? Na im.

Uncle Boma wasn’t the only one with the strat (for strategy, get it?) Na the same boat carry all of them. So he basically walked majestically into a lullaby. But no loss though. His increased number of followers on social media should be the plus from all this. At least, his surprise looked real.

As for Tega and her husband, anybody with good eyes can see that their relationship is an open one. Their friends, hype men and women even make it very obvious. It is like they too are in on the plan.

It is very easy to see from the apology and reconciliation videos that these niggas, like other people in the so-called open marriages and relationships, don’t have any problem with their spouses having sex with other people. They do it for fun and some others even invite their spouse’s partners into their homes. So for this Nigerian couple, fame and money only made the deal sweeter.

I have seen all the footages and I just saw the reconciliation piece and all I can say is that the couple should have met my dad. My papa go tell you to talk true at all times, but if sontin happens and you have to lie, lie. Nothing spoil. Just make sure say na lie wey go benefit you. And once the lie drop, sustain am. You gats hold am tight for as long as you fit; no shake. Palee o!

For their own case, they for use this “married woman infidelity” matter play small. I mean, to confuse sharp guys like us, they for drag am small and make the noise a little bit louder. They for use am spark strong controversy, initiate conversations and bag some deals. So that if we, the league of untrained detectives, later deduce the truth of the matter, we go still forgive them based on say the efforts wey dey make carry small weight.

But as they dey don shaperly make up so, water don dry for their gist. You know, shakara don end. As in, no more juice.

Lastly, uncle Boma, sorry you hear? The death threats na wash. People wey get sense and work for this country no plenty. Cowards, opportunists and keyboard warriors na dem full everywhere.

You just look on the bright side and use the followers wey you don gain take hold body. You go see say some women inside the league of “threateners” go soon waka come for their own share of your gbola. No too think am.

Image: GhBase